So today I wait. I wait to see if Baby J's mom will show up to the visit. Last night Baby J's SW came over and she did not even know that the BM did not show up for the visit. How is the judge suppose to make an informed decision if the SW's don't even know what is going on. I guess that is our job to inform them of what happens at visits -as wrong as that seems. The SW says the case is going in pretty much the same direction - "whatever that means" and the BM not showing up for the visit is nothing more than her showing her inconsistancy. I did find out that DCFS is finally cutting the driving service so the BM will finally have to find her own way to the visit, which she gets a prepaid bus/train card from DCFS she just has to get herself on it. It's not really amazing how many parents don't show up for visits when they are not constantly reminded and chauffered around to see their kids. I feel like if the parents really wanted to see their kids they would find a way on their own no matter what, because guess what . . . that's what parents do - they do what they have to for their kids.
Bed time at our house is not very fun. We have resorted to separateing X6 and N4 when they get ready for bed or it will take them about 30 minutes to get their PJ's on. No joke we put them in separate rooms and told them to get ready for bed, X6 does great with this new routine, but after 10 minutes we walked back into the room where N4 was and he was standing with only his pants off and playing at the dresser. I'm beginning to think it is N4 who has some serious issues. What would this be called when a child cannot focus on finishing certain tasks they are given.
Conversation from last night at bed time:
DH: Okay guys try not to pee in your pull-ups!
X6: Why?
DH: Are you kidding me? (in a very agitated tone)
Need I say more!
Friday, February 20, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
I'm not coming today!
Baby J's BM has not seen him for over 2 weeks since he was in the hospital sick and we confirmed on Thursday night that he would be having not 1, but a 2 hour visit with his BM on Friday so the driver picked Baby J up and took him to the visit and the BM's driver went to pick her up and when the driver showed up she just told him, "I'm not coming today." Needless to say I was furious. Poor sick Baby J just went out in the cold and sat in a car for an hour with a stranger to come see his psychotic BM whom he has not seen him in 2 weeks and she totally disses him! Now that just chaffes my hide! My husband kept telling me that this was not a bad thing and it is actually good for Baby J for the court to see that she is sooo undependable and uncaring so I guess I'm thankful in some sick and twisted way, but it just really hurst my heart that someone would do this to my Baby J - the sweetest, cutest most lovable human being I know.
Baby J is doing so much better. His cough is almost completely gone. We have him on about 4 nebulizer treatments a day still, but he is finally off the antibiotic. He has been sleeping through the night and I am just in awe of him. Did I mention while we were in the hospital and he was screaming while getting a port put in that he has a bottom tooth! Soo cute! Oh and he is rocking on all fours ready to crawl, but can only go backwards right now. I put him in tummy time and turned my back for a couple minutes and when I turned around he was 1/2 way under the crib going under backward with his little head popping out! He sits in his little bath on the toddler side and splashes and splashes! He is also eating like a champ and his hand eye coordination is getting sooo good. We took him to a restaurant on Saturday and he was soooo good. I sat him in a high chair and kept tearing little pieces of bread off for him and making him work for his food by putting in front of him and he would feed himself, of course after the meal we realized he wasn't quite hitting his mouth probably 1/2 the time since the floor literally looked like we were at a LoneStar wear you drop your peanut shells on the floor! We tipped good though so that made up for the mess! I hope.
In other news N4 started his new preschool and he came home that night and told me his teacher was mean to him and that she yelled at him. I told him I would talk to her so I did. She told me that he wouldn't go down for nap and I found out that he wouldn't listen to her and he kept telling her no, which is a huge NO NO in our house to tell a teacher no! So he ended up getting himself into a bit of trouble. The next day they came home and they were showing us some questionable dance moves they learned from "the big kids" at school. I guess for the first and last hour the daycare is allowed to put all the ages of kids in 1 room so there can be kids from infant to 12 in one room. I have a problem with this so we are just going to try and be sure that we pick the kids up before this time. They center did tell us that they are going to try and keep a closer eye on the older kids during this time to make sure they are not showing the younger kids any questionable dance moves! I'm not holding my breath. We have been told by this center that N4 and X6 are definitely behind on their numbers and letters. It has been excruciating too lately because X6 cannot remember his birthday for the life of him! These are the kind of times it gets hard and we can really see his brain trauma affecting him. Hence, we have a domain set up at the end of this month.
Yesterday, we had a huge surprise for N4 and X6. We took them to the Children's Museum and out for pizza - WITH THEIR BIRTH MOM AND UNCLE. The dad is in a 30 day clinc so we thought we would take advantage of that and let the mom have some extra time with the kids since she is not the big problem. We were with them for about 4 hours and they had a great time. I can tell the uncle is involved in gangs, but he was very nice nonetheless. A couple months ago N4 had said something about his mom having a baby in her stomach and we thought she may be pregnant, but she has never said anything, well we all thought she may be sporting a baby bump, but we are not 100% sure since she was wearing a sweatshirt. Well it came up at dinner and N4 just kind of blurted it out that she was having a baby and she just started laughing, but never denied or admitted it. And I just jokingly asked N4 "do you want a baby brother or a baby sister," and he said baby brother and that was the end of that!
Baby J is doing so much better. His cough is almost completely gone. We have him on about 4 nebulizer treatments a day still, but he is finally off the antibiotic. He has been sleeping through the night and I am just in awe of him. Did I mention while we were in the hospital and he was screaming while getting a port put in that he has a bottom tooth! Soo cute! Oh and he is rocking on all fours ready to crawl, but can only go backwards right now. I put him in tummy time and turned my back for a couple minutes and when I turned around he was 1/2 way under the crib going under backward with his little head popping out! He sits in his little bath on the toddler side and splashes and splashes! He is also eating like a champ and his hand eye coordination is getting sooo good. We took him to a restaurant on Saturday and he was soooo good. I sat him in a high chair and kept tearing little pieces of bread off for him and making him work for his food by putting in front of him and he would feed himself, of course after the meal we realized he wasn't quite hitting his mouth probably 1/2 the time since the floor literally looked like we were at a LoneStar wear you drop your peanut shells on the floor! We tipped good though so that made up for the mess! I hope.
In other news N4 started his new preschool and he came home that night and told me his teacher was mean to him and that she yelled at him. I told him I would talk to her so I did. She told me that he wouldn't go down for nap and I found out that he wouldn't listen to her and he kept telling her no, which is a huge NO NO in our house to tell a teacher no! So he ended up getting himself into a bit of trouble. The next day they came home and they were showing us some questionable dance moves they learned from "the big kids" at school. I guess for the first and last hour the daycare is allowed to put all the ages of kids in 1 room so there can be kids from infant to 12 in one room. I have a problem with this so we are just going to try and be sure that we pick the kids up before this time. They center did tell us that they are going to try and keep a closer eye on the older kids during this time to make sure they are not showing the younger kids any questionable dance moves! I'm not holding my breath. We have been told by this center that N4 and X6 are definitely behind on their numbers and letters. It has been excruciating too lately because X6 cannot remember his birthday for the life of him! These are the kind of times it gets hard and we can really see his brain trauma affecting him. Hence, we have a domain set up at the end of this month.
Yesterday, we had a huge surprise for N4 and X6. We took them to the Children's Museum and out for pizza - WITH THEIR BIRTH MOM AND UNCLE. The dad is in a 30 day clinc so we thought we would take advantage of that and let the mom have some extra time with the kids since she is not the big problem. We were with them for about 4 hours and they had a great time. I can tell the uncle is involved in gangs, but he was very nice nonetheless. A couple months ago N4 had said something about his mom having a baby in her stomach and we thought she may be pregnant, but she has never said anything, well we all thought she may be sporting a baby bump, but we are not 100% sure since she was wearing a sweatshirt. Well it came up at dinner and N4 just kind of blurted it out that she was having a baby and she just started laughing, but never denied or admitted it. And I just jokingly asked N4 "do you want a baby brother or a baby sister," and he said baby brother and that was the end of that!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Life has been extremely busy here on the homefront. Baby J woke up Tuesday morning and couldn't breath well so we took our first trip to the ER. Remember he has been sick with this chronic cough for 5 months, but the weekend and Monday and Tuesday he had gotten much worse, plus he had constant fever on Mon and Tues. Anywho he was admitted and after seeing the doctor and begging him to see an ENT, he told me he would run a few tests on him and sure enough he came back positive for RSV. 15 minutes later we got the call that he was negative for CF, which we are sooooo sooooo thankful. I asked the doctor back in November if it could be RSV and he said no because his appetite was good. We are not sure if he got the RSV recently when the cough and fever got worse or if he has had it this whole time. I guess that's neither here nor there, I'm just thankful for diagnosis, since it seems he has been tested for everything under the sun. We are still waiting for his allergy tests to come back, so he still may be allergic to something that may be why he's had the chronic cough for 5 months.
Baby J and I finally got to leave the hospital on Thursday afternoon and it was soo good to be out. I had a lot of work to do because we are transfering X6 and N4 to different schools so X6 can get services. We decided to take Baby J out of the daycare since that is probably where he picked up RSV and have my mom watch him for awhile. Starting Monday the boys will be at a daycare and school in our neighborhood, which means no more commuting with them in the car for a 30 minute drive to work. Yay I finally get my quiet time back in the car. It is much needed and I didn't even know how much I would miss it.
I debated whether or not to go to Bunko last night, but I felt like I really needed a break since I was couped up night and day in the hospital so I went. My DH is a saint for letting me go considering he was on the verge of sickness and X6 and N4 had just gotten home from a visit with their parents and they were bouncing off the walls from the sugar high they are always induced with when they are with their parents. Oh the joys of fostering.
The boys SW called yesterday and was telling me a little bit about N4 and X6's case and it seems one of the parents is doing everything in their power to get the boys back, but the other one not so much, so the SW said he doesn't really know if the parents will get the boys back in May. Which got me to thinking about adopting these boys if we ever had the chance. I have not really made myself think about it because the possibility of return home seemed really great. I honestly didn't want to think about adopting them either because each day that went by we got yet another bomb dropped on us about their mental and physical health. I don't want to seem like an oager or anything, but I did not sign up for special needs and I can tell you 100% for sure these kids ARE special needs. I honestly just don't think I am made for special needs kids. I know they always say God never gives you more than you can handle, but I just cannot make the connection with these boys. I try to parent them the best way I know how, but the love and admiration that I have for Baby J will just not kick in. I know it is not the kids faults for having the issues that they have, but their ADHD and constant lack of memory and behavioural issues are really chaffing my hide oh and bedwetting . . . I can't take it anymore. They both pee in their beds and drench everything almost every night. We have tried everything from no pull-ups to plastic pants, to bribing (I mean rewarding) and have finally just thrown in the towel. We have now resorted to having them sleep in sleeping bags on their plastic covered bunk beds with pull-ups on, so if they wet the bed we just have them take their sleeping bags and clothes down to the washer and walah! Clean bedding. No more waiting for their comforter to dry after 3 cycles in the dryer.
Baby J and I finally got to leave the hospital on Thursday afternoon and it was soo good to be out. I had a lot of work to do because we are transfering X6 and N4 to different schools so X6 can get services. We decided to take Baby J out of the daycare since that is probably where he picked up RSV and have my mom watch him for awhile. Starting Monday the boys will be at a daycare and school in our neighborhood, which means no more commuting with them in the car for a 30 minute drive to work. Yay I finally get my quiet time back in the car. It is much needed and I didn't even know how much I would miss it.
I debated whether or not to go to Bunko last night, but I felt like I really needed a break since I was couped up night and day in the hospital so I went. My DH is a saint for letting me go considering he was on the verge of sickness and X6 and N4 had just gotten home from a visit with their parents and they were bouncing off the walls from the sugar high they are always induced with when they are with their parents. Oh the joys of fostering.
The boys SW called yesterday and was telling me a little bit about N4 and X6's case and it seems one of the parents is doing everything in their power to get the boys back, but the other one not so much, so the SW said he doesn't really know if the parents will get the boys back in May. Which got me to thinking about adopting these boys if we ever had the chance. I have not really made myself think about it because the possibility of return home seemed really great. I honestly didn't want to think about adopting them either because each day that went by we got yet another bomb dropped on us about their mental and physical health. I don't want to seem like an oager or anything, but I did not sign up for special needs and I can tell you 100% for sure these kids ARE special needs. I honestly just don't think I am made for special needs kids. I know they always say God never gives you more than you can handle, but I just cannot make the connection with these boys. I try to parent them the best way I know how, but the love and admiration that I have for Baby J will just not kick in. I know it is not the kids faults for having the issues that they have, but their ADHD and constant lack of memory and behavioural issues are really chaffing my hide oh and bedwetting . . . I can't take it anymore. They both pee in their beds and drench everything almost every night. We have tried everything from no pull-ups to plastic pants, to bribing (I mean rewarding) and have finally just thrown in the towel. We have now resorted to having them sleep in sleeping bags on their plastic covered bunk beds with pull-ups on, so if they wet the bed we just have them take their sleeping bags and clothes down to the washer and walah! Clean bedding. No more waiting for their comforter to dry after 3 cycles in the dryer.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Dreaded Mornings and Exceptional Parents
I am really beginning to dread weekday mornings. Because Baby J has been sick my DH has been home with him for the last couple weeks so he gets to sleep in until Baby J gets up which is usually around the time me and the other kids are walking out the door. N4 has been really testing me in the mornings by asking every day if today is his visit. Here's how our conversations go:
N4: Mom is my visit today?
Mom: What day is your visit on?
N4: Friday
Mom: What day is it today?
N4: Tuesday
Mom: I am so proud of you for answering your own question.
N4: Mom is my visit today?
Mom: SHUT UP AND GET DRESSED! HA HA HA Just kidding
I end with a no comment and try to change the subject before N4 has a meltdown. I usually have to wake DH to go in and give N4 a dose of reality. For some reason he responds so much better to DH and does not try his patience. I don't know why N4 must always look for meltdown material when he is with me. I guess because he knows he can push my buttons and that's exactly what he does. So today I am bringing home a calendar so he can check off the days until his visit so at least this question will be a none issue - hopefully.
We have decided to have X6 and N4 no longer take baths together as they have shown some questionable behaviour in the bath tub. We believe it is innocent, but we think it is time to have some boundries and privacy during bath times. I think this will be good for everyone because usually if we let them bathe together there was water all over the place and they were always way too loud and they usually bathed while Baby J was sleeping.
My parents have come over for the last 3 days and it has been wonderful having them around. My mom usually does laundry for me and helps with Baby J so that when I come home all I have to do is enjoy Baby J and bark orders at N4 and X6. Today she is at my home making banana bread for us and tomorrow she will be driving Baby J and I to the Pulmonologist as it is downtown and I am not too fond of driving downtown. I must say she is a life saver. I don't think I appreciate my mom as much as I should. Lord knows she can drive me up a wall sometimes, but I think she means well. If you have ever seen Everybody Love's Raymond - she is Marie! Always getting into everyone's business and stirring up trouble and very nosy always thinking she is right about everything, but she always means well. Do you know anyone like that? I do love her and couldn't even imagine life without my mom or dad for that matter.
N4: Mom is my visit today?
Mom: What day is your visit on?
N4: Friday
Mom: What day is it today?
N4: Tuesday
Mom: I am so proud of you for answering your own question.
N4: Mom is my visit today?
Mom: SHUT UP AND GET DRESSED! HA HA HA Just kidding
I end with a no comment and try to change the subject before N4 has a meltdown. I usually have to wake DH to go in and give N4 a dose of reality. For some reason he responds so much better to DH and does not try his patience. I don't know why N4 must always look for meltdown material when he is with me. I guess because he knows he can push my buttons and that's exactly what he does. So today I am bringing home a calendar so he can check off the days until his visit so at least this question will be a none issue - hopefully.
We have decided to have X6 and N4 no longer take baths together as they have shown some questionable behaviour in the bath tub. We believe it is innocent, but we think it is time to have some boundries and privacy during bath times. I think this will be good for everyone because usually if we let them bathe together there was water all over the place and they were always way too loud and they usually bathed while Baby J was sleeping.
My parents have come over for the last 3 days and it has been wonderful having them around. My mom usually does laundry for me and helps with Baby J so that when I come home all I have to do is enjoy Baby J and bark orders at N4 and X6. Today she is at my home making banana bread for us and tomorrow she will be driving Baby J and I to the Pulmonologist as it is downtown and I am not too fond of driving downtown. I must say she is a life saver. I don't think I appreciate my mom as much as I should. Lord knows she can drive me up a wall sometimes, but I think she means well. If you have ever seen Everybody Love's Raymond - she is Marie! Always getting into everyone's business and stirring up trouble and very nosy always thinking she is right about everything, but she always means well. Do you know anyone like that? I do love her and couldn't even imagine life without my mom or dad for that matter.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Time to see a Pulmonologist
I hate it when I find a blog I love and forget to bookmark it and can't find it again. This has been happening to me whenever I go online. I will have to get better at remembering to bookmark my favorite blogs. It is all quiet right now. Kids are taking naps - all of them and DH and I are taking a break from cleaning out our room. As I told you all before DH is finishing the room downstairs to be his office, so we are trying to make room for the treadmill in our room upstairs. I'm hoping when I get on the treadmill that it stays on the second floor when I jog!
Actually I have been trying to count points (WW) and have been doing fairly well. Yes, I'm trying to lose weight for my BIL wedding in March. I think I can lose a good 10 pounds in 1.5 months if I really try. Hence, putting the treadmill in our room. We just received the itinerary for my BIL's wedding and it's going to be so much fun. It is going to be on the beach in Charleston, SC, but they rented out a beach house for everyone to stay from Wednesday till Sunday so should be fun.
We have already decided that we are not taking N4 and X6 on this trip, there will be too much going on. I'm trying to convince DH that we need my mom to come with us so she can watch J when we need her to and have to do wedding stuff or pre-wedding stuff, but he is adamant about her not coming as of right now, especially since we are driving. You know too much of a good thing can be bad. I'm sure that's what he's thinking.
So J's Dr. wants him to see a Pulmonologist. That is progress, because before he would just tell us kids get coughs in the winter and sometimes don't get over them until Spring. That's that! So needless to say I am happy to hear this news. I think we are going to keep J home another week from daycare or at least until he sees the pulmonologist.
We have decided to enroll X6 in our school district so he can get some services once he gets his IEP done. This way there is no red tape about who's paying for his services. We just now have to take off more time from work to get over to the enrollment office which is conveniently only open from 10am until 3pm. I would love to have that job!
Well I better get going I have to go explain that sharing does not mean getting the toy you want when you want it!
Actually I have been trying to count points (WW) and have been doing fairly well. Yes, I'm trying to lose weight for my BIL wedding in March. I think I can lose a good 10 pounds in 1.5 months if I really try. Hence, putting the treadmill in our room. We just received the itinerary for my BIL's wedding and it's going to be so much fun. It is going to be on the beach in Charleston, SC, but they rented out a beach house for everyone to stay from Wednesday till Sunday so should be fun.
We have already decided that we are not taking N4 and X6 on this trip, there will be too much going on. I'm trying to convince DH that we need my mom to come with us so she can watch J when we need her to and have to do wedding stuff or pre-wedding stuff, but he is adamant about her not coming as of right now, especially since we are driving. You know too much of a good thing can be bad. I'm sure that's what he's thinking.
So J's Dr. wants him to see a Pulmonologist. That is progress, because before he would just tell us kids get coughs in the winter and sometimes don't get over them until Spring. That's that! So needless to say I am happy to hear this news. I think we are going to keep J home another week from daycare or at least until he sees the pulmonologist.
We have decided to enroll X6 in our school district so he can get some services once he gets his IEP done. This way there is no red tape about who's paying for his services. We just now have to take off more time from work to get over to the enrollment office which is conveniently only open from 10am until 3pm. I would love to have that job!
Well I better get going I have to go explain that sharing does not mean getting the toy you want when you want it!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
More Pnemonia
I took J to the Dr. last night and he said he thinks he has the pnemonia back. I cannot believe this! I asked him if we should get a chest x-ray, but Dr. is concerned about too much radiation so we are going to treat him as if he has it so back to every 4 hour nebulizer treatments and steroids. DH was not happy at all and feels like this Dr. is sorely lacking! J has to stay home all week and no going out to daycare or visits with BM. I already notified SW, and she is very supportive so she is going to notify the BM.
I guess this means we have to call WIC and put that off another couple of weeks, which means no formula checks until we get our appointment. J's SW home visit is scheduled for tomorrow night so hopefully we will still be able to do that without any gliches.
I got a phone call from N4 and X6's SW today and he told me that the best way to get services (IEP) for X6 is to enroll him in our school district, otherwise we will have a hard time with our school district paying for his services. That really burns me up because I have been paying taxeas in my district for over 6 years and now that I have a child that could use those taxes, they tell me they won't pay for his services. I should be able to send my FS to any school I please and they should pick up the tab for his IEP because I pay taxes in this school district and he lives with me. I love how the system loves to get around helping kids in need!
Well I am off to go home and relieve my DH from nebulizer duty. Hopefully the house is clean and laundry is done!
I guess this means we have to call WIC and put that off another couple of weeks, which means no formula checks until we get our appointment. J's SW home visit is scheduled for tomorrow night so hopefully we will still be able to do that without any gliches.
I got a phone call from N4 and X6's SW today and he told me that the best way to get services (IEP) for X6 is to enroll him in our school district, otherwise we will have a hard time with our school district paying for his services. That really burns me up because I have been paying taxeas in my district for over 6 years and now that I have a child that could use those taxes, they tell me they won't pay for his services. I should be able to send my FS to any school I please and they should pick up the tab for his IEP because I pay taxes in this school district and he lives with me. I love how the system loves to get around helping kids in need!
Well I am off to go home and relieve my DH from nebulizer duty. Hopefully the house is clean and laundry is done!
Monday, January 19, 2009
IEPs and Coughs
For the past 2 weeks we have started to give the boys some chores around the house such as letting the dogs out and feeding them. Well at least 3 times X6 has left the door wide open after he lets the dogs in, so this morning I had to tell him he is no longer allowed to let the dogs out until he can be more responsible because like all our parents have said in the past "we are not paying to heat the whole neighborhood."
I just heard from X6's caseworker and it seems he is having a few snags trying to find out what school district is suppose to do X6's IEP. The kids go to a daycare/Kindergarten near my work, but we live in a different school district, and X6 last IEP was done in a third school district and all of them are saying that they are not the right resource!!!! Does this sound familiar to anyone!
J now 7 months andstill has a bad cough. He sounds like he is hacking up a lung and all his doctor has done is put him on albutorol for 7 days back in September and he still had it in October so then he added a steroid to the albutorol and then he got pnemonia in November and he was on albutorol through the nebulizer and we have contacted the doctor many times to tell him the cough is not going away and all we get is "some kids just get bad coughs during the winter." Alrighty then! He told us we could keep J on the nebulizer as long as he needs it so we try to give him a treatment only in the mornings because we find that he has a harder time sleeping at night if we give it to him all day. He seems to be doing better, but every once in a while we get reminded that he is not completely healthy when we hear his smokers cough and everyone asks him if he needs another cigarette!!! One lady suggested I switch him to soy milk because it might be an allergy. I jumped on that one and tried it for a week - no such luck - it actually got worse and then his poop was hard as a rock so we switched back to Gentlease, which is the only formula we had any luck with soft poop for him when we first got him. Any suggestions! I know shockingly doctors are not always right!
I just heard from X6's caseworker and it seems he is having a few snags trying to find out what school district is suppose to do X6's IEP. The kids go to a daycare/Kindergarten near my work, but we live in a different school district, and X6 last IEP was done in a third school district and all of them are saying that they are not the right resource!!!! Does this sound familiar to anyone!
J now 7 months andstill has a bad cough. He sounds like he is hacking up a lung and all his doctor has done is put him on albutorol for 7 days back in September and he still had it in October so then he added a steroid to the albutorol and then he got pnemonia in November and he was on albutorol through the nebulizer and we have contacted the doctor many times to tell him the cough is not going away and all we get is "some kids just get bad coughs during the winter." Alrighty then! He told us we could keep J on the nebulizer as long as he needs it so we try to give him a treatment only in the mornings because we find that he has a harder time sleeping at night if we give it to him all day. He seems to be doing better, but every once in a while we get reminded that he is not completely healthy when we hear his smokers cough and everyone asks him if he needs another cigarette!!! One lady suggested I switch him to soy milk because it might be an allergy. I jumped on that one and tried it for a week - no such luck - it actually got worse and then his poop was hard as a rock so we switched back to Gentlease, which is the only formula we had any luck with soft poop for him when we first got him. Any suggestions! I know shockingly doctors are not always right!
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