I am really beginning to dread weekday mornings. Because Baby J has been sick my DH has been home with him for the last couple weeks so he gets to sleep in until Baby J gets up which is usually around the time me and the other kids are walking out the door. N4 has been really testing me in the mornings by asking every day if today is his visit. Here's how our conversations go:
N4: Mom is my visit today?
Mom: What day is your visit on?
N4: Friday
Mom: What day is it today?
N4: Tuesday
Mom: I am so proud of you for answering your own question.
N4: Mom is my visit today?
Mom: SHUT UP AND GET DRESSED! HA HA HA Just kidding
I end with a no comment and try to change the subject before N4 has a meltdown. I usually have to wake DH to go in and give N4 a dose of reality. For some reason he responds so much better to DH and does not try his patience. I don't know why N4 must always look for meltdown material when he is with me. I guess because he knows he can push my buttons and that's exactly what he does. So today I am bringing home a calendar so he can check off the days until his visit so at least this question will be a none issue - hopefully.
We have decided to have X6 and N4 no longer take baths together as they have shown some questionable behaviour in the bath tub. We believe it is innocent, but we think it is time to have some boundries and privacy during bath times. I think this will be good for everyone because usually if we let them bathe together there was water all over the place and they were always way too loud and they usually bathed while Baby J was sleeping.
My parents have come over for the last 3 days and it has been wonderful having them around. My mom usually does laundry for me and helps with Baby J so that when I come home all I have to do is enjoy Baby J and bark orders at N4 and X6. Today she is at my home making banana bread for us and tomorrow she will be driving Baby J and I to the Pulmonologist as it is downtown and I am not too fond of driving downtown. I must say she is a life saver. I don't think I appreciate my mom as much as I should. Lord knows she can drive me up a wall sometimes, but I think she means well. If you have ever seen Everybody Love's Raymond - she is Marie! Always getting into everyone's business and stirring up trouble and very nosy always thinking she is right about everything, but she always means well. Do you know anyone like that? I do love her and couldn't even imagine life without my mom or dad for that matter.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Time to see a Pulmonologist
I hate it when I find a blog I love and forget to bookmark it and can't find it again. This has been happening to me whenever I go online. I will have to get better at remembering to bookmark my favorite blogs. It is all quiet right now. Kids are taking naps - all of them and DH and I are taking a break from cleaning out our room. As I told you all before DH is finishing the room downstairs to be his office, so we are trying to make room for the treadmill in our room upstairs. I'm hoping when I get on the treadmill that it stays on the second floor when I jog!
Actually I have been trying to count points (WW) and have been doing fairly well. Yes, I'm trying to lose weight for my BIL wedding in March. I think I can lose a good 10 pounds in 1.5 months if I really try. Hence, putting the treadmill in our room. We just received the itinerary for my BIL's wedding and it's going to be so much fun. It is going to be on the beach in Charleston, SC, but they rented out a beach house for everyone to stay from Wednesday till Sunday so should be fun.
We have already decided that we are not taking N4 and X6 on this trip, there will be too much going on. I'm trying to convince DH that we need my mom to come with us so she can watch J when we need her to and have to do wedding stuff or pre-wedding stuff, but he is adamant about her not coming as of right now, especially since we are driving. You know too much of a good thing can be bad. I'm sure that's what he's thinking.
So J's Dr. wants him to see a Pulmonologist. That is progress, because before he would just tell us kids get coughs in the winter and sometimes don't get over them until Spring. That's that! So needless to say I am happy to hear this news. I think we are going to keep J home another week from daycare or at least until he sees the pulmonologist.
We have decided to enroll X6 in our school district so he can get some services once he gets his IEP done. This way there is no red tape about who's paying for his services. We just now have to take off more time from work to get over to the enrollment office which is conveniently only open from 10am until 3pm. I would love to have that job!
Well I better get going I have to go explain that sharing does not mean getting the toy you want when you want it!
Actually I have been trying to count points (WW) and have been doing fairly well. Yes, I'm trying to lose weight for my BIL wedding in March. I think I can lose a good 10 pounds in 1.5 months if I really try. Hence, putting the treadmill in our room. We just received the itinerary for my BIL's wedding and it's going to be so much fun. It is going to be on the beach in Charleston, SC, but they rented out a beach house for everyone to stay from Wednesday till Sunday so should be fun.
We have already decided that we are not taking N4 and X6 on this trip, there will be too much going on. I'm trying to convince DH that we need my mom to come with us so she can watch J when we need her to and have to do wedding stuff or pre-wedding stuff, but he is adamant about her not coming as of right now, especially since we are driving. You know too much of a good thing can be bad. I'm sure that's what he's thinking.
So J's Dr. wants him to see a Pulmonologist. That is progress, because before he would just tell us kids get coughs in the winter and sometimes don't get over them until Spring. That's that! So needless to say I am happy to hear this news. I think we are going to keep J home another week from daycare or at least until he sees the pulmonologist.
We have decided to enroll X6 in our school district so he can get some services once he gets his IEP done. This way there is no red tape about who's paying for his services. We just now have to take off more time from work to get over to the enrollment office which is conveniently only open from 10am until 3pm. I would love to have that job!
Well I better get going I have to go explain that sharing does not mean getting the toy you want when you want it!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
More Pnemonia
I took J to the Dr. last night and he said he thinks he has the pnemonia back. I cannot believe this! I asked him if we should get a chest x-ray, but Dr. is concerned about too much radiation so we are going to treat him as if he has it so back to every 4 hour nebulizer treatments and steroids. DH was not happy at all and feels like this Dr. is sorely lacking! J has to stay home all week and no going out to daycare or visits with BM. I already notified SW, and she is very supportive so she is going to notify the BM.
I guess this means we have to call WIC and put that off another couple of weeks, which means no formula checks until we get our appointment. J's SW home visit is scheduled for tomorrow night so hopefully we will still be able to do that without any gliches.
I got a phone call from N4 and X6's SW today and he told me that the best way to get services (IEP) for X6 is to enroll him in our school district, otherwise we will have a hard time with our school district paying for his services. That really burns me up because I have been paying taxeas in my district for over 6 years and now that I have a child that could use those taxes, they tell me they won't pay for his services. I should be able to send my FS to any school I please and they should pick up the tab for his IEP because I pay taxes in this school district and he lives with me. I love how the system loves to get around helping kids in need!
Well I am off to go home and relieve my DH from nebulizer duty. Hopefully the house is clean and laundry is done!
I guess this means we have to call WIC and put that off another couple of weeks, which means no formula checks until we get our appointment. J's SW home visit is scheduled for tomorrow night so hopefully we will still be able to do that without any gliches.
I got a phone call from N4 and X6's SW today and he told me that the best way to get services (IEP) for X6 is to enroll him in our school district, otherwise we will have a hard time with our school district paying for his services. That really burns me up because I have been paying taxeas in my district for over 6 years and now that I have a child that could use those taxes, they tell me they won't pay for his services. I should be able to send my FS to any school I please and they should pick up the tab for his IEP because I pay taxes in this school district and he lives with me. I love how the system loves to get around helping kids in need!
Well I am off to go home and relieve my DH from nebulizer duty. Hopefully the house is clean and laundry is done!
Monday, January 19, 2009
IEPs and Coughs
For the past 2 weeks we have started to give the boys some chores around the house such as letting the dogs out and feeding them. Well at least 3 times X6 has left the door wide open after he lets the dogs in, so this morning I had to tell him he is no longer allowed to let the dogs out until he can be more responsible because like all our parents have said in the past "we are not paying to heat the whole neighborhood."
I just heard from X6's caseworker and it seems he is having a few snags trying to find out what school district is suppose to do X6's IEP. The kids go to a daycare/Kindergarten near my work, but we live in a different school district, and X6 last IEP was done in a third school district and all of them are saying that they are not the right resource!!!! Does this sound familiar to anyone!
J now 7 months andstill has a bad cough. He sounds like he is hacking up a lung and all his doctor has done is put him on albutorol for 7 days back in September and he still had it in October so then he added a steroid to the albutorol and then he got pnemonia in November and he was on albutorol through the nebulizer and we have contacted the doctor many times to tell him the cough is not going away and all we get is "some kids just get bad coughs during the winter." Alrighty then! He told us we could keep J on the nebulizer as long as he needs it so we try to give him a treatment only in the mornings because we find that he has a harder time sleeping at night if we give it to him all day. He seems to be doing better, but every once in a while we get reminded that he is not completely healthy when we hear his smokers cough and everyone asks him if he needs another cigarette!!! One lady suggested I switch him to soy milk because it might be an allergy. I jumped on that one and tried it for a week - no such luck - it actually got worse and then his poop was hard as a rock so we switched back to Gentlease, which is the only formula we had any luck with soft poop for him when we first got him. Any suggestions! I know shockingly doctors are not always right!
I just heard from X6's caseworker and it seems he is having a few snags trying to find out what school district is suppose to do X6's IEP. The kids go to a daycare/Kindergarten near my work, but we live in a different school district, and X6 last IEP was done in a third school district and all of them are saying that they are not the right resource!!!! Does this sound familiar to anyone!
J now 7 months andstill has a bad cough. He sounds like he is hacking up a lung and all his doctor has done is put him on albutorol for 7 days back in September and he still had it in October so then he added a steroid to the albutorol and then he got pnemonia in November and he was on albutorol through the nebulizer and we have contacted the doctor many times to tell him the cough is not going away and all we get is "some kids just get bad coughs during the winter." Alrighty then! He told us we could keep J on the nebulizer as long as he needs it so we try to give him a treatment only in the mornings because we find that he has a harder time sleeping at night if we give it to him all day. He seems to be doing better, but every once in a while we get reminded that he is not completely healthy when we hear his smokers cough and everyone asks him if he needs another cigarette!!! One lady suggested I switch him to soy milk because it might be an allergy. I jumped on that one and tried it for a week - no such luck - it actually got worse and then his poop was hard as a rock so we switched back to Gentlease, which is the only formula we had any luck with soft poop for him when we first got him. Any suggestions! I know shockingly doctors are not always right!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Happy New Year Finally Writing in 2009!
Well Happy New Year to anyone and everyone. I'm going to try and commit to writing at least once a month if not more if I can. At least that is my hope for now. The Holidays are over and we had many challenges as you might have expected since our honeymoon stage with N4 & X6 is over and done.
Thanksgiving is a blur, but definitely manageable since we had it at our house and we were able to put the kids to bed in their own beds at bedtime. Christmas was however quite different. It seems like we have been celebrating Christmas forever.
For Christmas we went to Arizona to be with my in-laws in their 2 bedroom apartment and of course we brought all the kids. It was let's say not quite the vacations I remember from life without kids and 7 people in a 2 bedroom apartment with only one living area was quite hard. We were there for 2 weeks and had planned a trip to Vegs for my DH and I while my MIL watched the kids, but we had 1 date night before our overnight trip and my MIL had to call us home and told us it would be too much for them to watch all the kids for 2 days. Such is life. I understand that they didn't sign up for this, but her being an Early Child Development Teacher I thought maybe she could handle it for a couple days! Whatever! She did let us have another date night while we were there so it was nice to get away for a night.
I have been really struggling with mourning my old life. I think maybe because DH and I have had 9 years of just us time it has definitely been a hard transition to add N4 and X6 to our family. J was easy because he is a baby and how could you not love and bond with a helpless infant who coos and cuddles with you and thinks of you as his mom, but N4 and X6 come with lots of baggage and lots of attitude and lots of "my mom does this and my dad let's us do this." Well guess what "My house my rules - end of story."
N4 has had some behavioural issues such as tantrums when he doesn't get his way, and direct disobedience when he is told to do something. He also does things on purpose to have a reason to act out. Like he knows he is not allowed to take toys to school except on Fridays, but will ask repeatedly to take toys after we have told him not to ask again, which escalates into him getting a time out and throwing a tantrum. All things I really don't have time for in the mornings.
X6 on the other hand we thought was sweet as pie for the first couple months, but just recently he has turned this corner where everything N4 has he wants or if we ask X6 to share with N4 he will silently cry, wimpering like we just took away his favorite puppy. On top of that irritating behaviour he does not seem to comprehend anything we tell him. We can call him over to us and say no running in the house and he will turn around and run back to his room. He constantly is saying he is hungry even though we have eaten less than a 1/2 hour ago and he can never remeber what he ate at the last meal and don't get me started on when he scares me telling me that he threw up yesterday and I find out what he means by yesterday is last month!!!!
They can be very sweet kids and we do enjoy them, but life as I new it is over and that fact seems to magnify N4 and X6's behaviour as I am selfishly thinking "Why am I doing this." Has anyone else ever felt this way? I feel like maybe I am too selfish to be a foster parent to kids who aren't mine and will never be mine. At least with J there is more of a chance he will be ours and even if he never does become ours there is something about having an infant who is so very helpless that makes them easier to care for, plus it helps that everyone else wants to hold an infant and take care of him for me if I need to run an errand, which is more than I can say for wild 4 and 6 year olds.
We had J's dispositional hearing last Tuesday and within the first 5 minutes it seemed like the Judge wanted to terminate his BM's rights, but when he asked our caseworker what she thought all she said was "it is DCFS's goal to have reunification within 12 months." I about had a coranary. When we got out of there my husband point blank asked her what the heck and she explained to us, that DCFS wants to give them enough rope to hang themselves and who are we to say that she can't change and she has to be given the same opportunity as any other parent to get her crap together. I sort of understood her point, but I'm not happy with it, however, at least we know we have J for another 6 months which means we get to throw him his 1 year birthday party, which I am soooo excited about.
I have to go because N4 and X6 do not know what sit quietly and read books and do puzzles means so I have to put them downstairs to watch a movie so J can nap.
Thanksgiving is a blur, but definitely manageable since we had it at our house and we were able to put the kids to bed in their own beds at bedtime. Christmas was however quite different. It seems like we have been celebrating Christmas forever.
For Christmas we went to Arizona to be with my in-laws in their 2 bedroom apartment and of course we brought all the kids. It was let's say not quite the vacations I remember from life without kids and 7 people in a 2 bedroom apartment with only one living area was quite hard. We were there for 2 weeks and had planned a trip to Vegs for my DH and I while my MIL watched the kids, but we had 1 date night before our overnight trip and my MIL had to call us home and told us it would be too much for them to watch all the kids for 2 days. Such is life. I understand that they didn't sign up for this, but her being an Early Child Development Teacher I thought maybe she could handle it for a couple days! Whatever! She did let us have another date night while we were there so it was nice to get away for a night.
I have been really struggling with mourning my old life. I think maybe because DH and I have had 9 years of just us time it has definitely been a hard transition to add N4 and X6 to our family. J was easy because he is a baby and how could you not love and bond with a helpless infant who coos and cuddles with you and thinks of you as his mom, but N4 and X6 come with lots of baggage and lots of attitude and lots of "my mom does this and my dad let's us do this." Well guess what "My house my rules - end of story."
N4 has had some behavioural issues such as tantrums when he doesn't get his way, and direct disobedience when he is told to do something. He also does things on purpose to have a reason to act out. Like he knows he is not allowed to take toys to school except on Fridays, but will ask repeatedly to take toys after we have told him not to ask again, which escalates into him getting a time out and throwing a tantrum. All things I really don't have time for in the mornings.
X6 on the other hand we thought was sweet as pie for the first couple months, but just recently he has turned this corner where everything N4 has he wants or if we ask X6 to share with N4 he will silently cry, wimpering like we just took away his favorite puppy. On top of that irritating behaviour he does not seem to comprehend anything we tell him. We can call him over to us and say no running in the house and he will turn around and run back to his room. He constantly is saying he is hungry even though we have eaten less than a 1/2 hour ago and he can never remeber what he ate at the last meal and don't get me started on when he scares me telling me that he threw up yesterday and I find out what he means by yesterday is last month!!!!
They can be very sweet kids and we do enjoy them, but life as I new it is over and that fact seems to magnify N4 and X6's behaviour as I am selfishly thinking "Why am I doing this." Has anyone else ever felt this way? I feel like maybe I am too selfish to be a foster parent to kids who aren't mine and will never be mine. At least with J there is more of a chance he will be ours and even if he never does become ours there is something about having an infant who is so very helpless that makes them easier to care for, plus it helps that everyone else wants to hold an infant and take care of him for me if I need to run an errand, which is more than I can say for wild 4 and 6 year olds.
We had J's dispositional hearing last Tuesday and within the first 5 minutes it seemed like the Judge wanted to terminate his BM's rights, but when he asked our caseworker what she thought all she said was "it is DCFS's goal to have reunification within 12 months." I about had a coranary. When we got out of there my husband point blank asked her what the heck and she explained to us, that DCFS wants to give them enough rope to hang themselves and who are we to say that she can't change and she has to be given the same opportunity as any other parent to get her crap together. I sort of understood her point, but I'm not happy with it, however, at least we know we have J for another 6 months which means we get to throw him his 1 year birthday party, which I am soooo excited about.
I have to go because N4 and X6 do not know what sit quietly and read books and do puzzles means so I have to put them downstairs to watch a movie so J can nap.
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