Now that I have more time the here is the continuation of my updated on X and N. X can be very challenging a times because of the brain trauma. I believe his memmory has definitely been affected. He sometimes has moments where he goes off into a daze and can forget what he is doing. I know I tend to do that sometimes, but it's different, you can almost tell he has nothing going on up there for those brief moments. I at least keep moving, but have too many things going on up there that I can't see straight!
Speaking of seeing straight - we ordered glasses for both X and N today because we went to the doctor Healthworks recommended and they will not get their glasses for 2-4 months because they are on medicaid and we were told that the correctional facility makes these glasses. If that's the case I would think that there would be a plethera of glasses to be had. Unfortunately, the inmates must be too busy getting their degrees on tax payers dollars. Such is life! The glasses we bought for them should be done tomorrow by 1pm.
I haven't even touched on our caseworker for X and N. This was his first case - need I say more! Basically this guy is delusional and all he sees is rainbows and butterflies for these kids. When we first met B (X and N's case worker) he was showering the boys with toys and picking them up for thier parent visits and it was really hard because all we ever heard from the boys was when was B picking them up, because they equated B with fun, food and fellowship with thier birth parents. Needless to say that came to an abrupt hault after this guy's case load got full. Now we are the one's picking up the pieces as to why the kids don't see another person they got attached to. B is very slowly giving us more and more information regarding X's accident report.
On top of the accident and all of the traumas that come along with that, we found out that X and N have a blood disease. It is not contagious it is hereditary, but again this means lots more doctors appointments and specialists. We had blood work done and the kids have the symtoms of the disease which their father said they had, but we have to take them to a hemotologist to confirm the findings.
This blog is seeming to be a little muttled, but I'm just trying to write down as I remember things from the boys first couple of months with us.
We did meet X and N's birth parents in court 2 weeks ago and they seem pretty nice. They seemed like monster's on paper, but meeting them made them real and we really are cheering for these parents to get their acts together and hopefully get X and N back. We never thought we were intended for foster care, we just thought we would do foster/adoption, but I believe the Lord is tryint to make it clear to us that we can do foster care. We've yet to experience a child leaving, but I'm sure the Lord will give us the strength to endure!
Saturday, November 29, 2008
New Kids on the Block!
Well 3 months has passed since my last post. We still have J, but now we have 2 more foster children. Things with J have pretty much stayed the same. No news is good news I guess. His BM has been admitted to the hospital a couple of times and been unable to make her visits and we are told it is no fault but her own so that can only be one of two things, she is not taking her medication or she is taking non prescription drugs if you know what I mean.
Our 2 new foster children are brothers who are 4 and 6. We will call the 4 year old N and the 6 year old will be X. We actually received a call on September 10th and our foster care specialist asked us if we would be interested in taking these 2 boys. We said we would like more information, but we would consider it. We got a call back and they told us they had already found a bilingual home for the boys, because we are not bilingual, however my parents are so we are considered for bilingual children if there are no other alternatives because my parents live behind us so the children would have Spanish exposure. Anywho, long story short the bilingual home fell through and on September 12th we were asked to take these boys and I had prayed about it that if the Lord wanted us to have these boys they would come to our home and so we had to say yes, because the Lord was definitely at work especially since there was another home in the process. That was the only catch the boys had to be moved ASAP so they would have to come to our home that very evening. I had a work outing to go see Wicked so my husband and my parents received the boys. When I got home that night the boys were already in bed so I could hardly sleep because I was soo excited to meet them. I asked my husband a bazillion questions about them, but I had to see them for myself. I did ask my husband if they asked if either of them wet the bed and they had not, so sure enough when we woke up the next morning the little one N had wet the bed. So began our journey with X and N!!!!
We have had X & N for over 2 months now and have done the whole gammit of check-ups ie: shots, dentist, eyes. X was 2 years behind on his shots and N was 2 months behind. We thought only N would have a problem with his eyes because he has a crossed eye, but it turns out X has 20/50 vision and needs bifocals!!! Remember he just turned 6. Anywho, we are finding a lot out about X that we could not tell at first. We recently found out he was in a car accident when he was 2 and N was 2 months. X, however got the brunt of the accident and had moderate brain trauma, a broken pelvis and a broken humorous. He was in the hospital for a month and then in rehabilitation for a month and now we find out he has had an IEP done and Occupational therapy that he should be having as well as speech/language therapy he should be having. At first we thought maybe he was just neglected and no one ever worked with him on numbers and letters and getting dressed, until now we see N passing him up on all of the same things they are learning at school.
to be continued . . .
Our 2 new foster children are brothers who are 4 and 6. We will call the 4 year old N and the 6 year old will be X. We actually received a call on September 10th and our foster care specialist asked us if we would be interested in taking these 2 boys. We said we would like more information, but we would consider it. We got a call back and they told us they had already found a bilingual home for the boys, because we are not bilingual, however my parents are so we are considered for bilingual children if there are no other alternatives because my parents live behind us so the children would have Spanish exposure. Anywho, long story short the bilingual home fell through and on September 12th we were asked to take these boys and I had prayed about it that if the Lord wanted us to have these boys they would come to our home and so we had to say yes, because the Lord was definitely at work especially since there was another home in the process. That was the only catch the boys had to be moved ASAP so they would have to come to our home that very evening. I had a work outing to go see Wicked so my husband and my parents received the boys. When I got home that night the boys were already in bed so I could hardly sleep because I was soo excited to meet them. I asked my husband a bazillion questions about them, but I had to see them for myself. I did ask my husband if they asked if either of them wet the bed and they had not, so sure enough when we woke up the next morning the little one N had wet the bed. So began our journey with X and N!!!!
We have had X & N for over 2 months now and have done the whole gammit of check-ups ie: shots, dentist, eyes. X was 2 years behind on his shots and N was 2 months behind. We thought only N would have a problem with his eyes because he has a crossed eye, but it turns out X has 20/50 vision and needs bifocals!!! Remember he just turned 6. Anywho, we are finding a lot out about X that we could not tell at first. We recently found out he was in a car accident when he was 2 and N was 2 months. X, however got the brunt of the accident and had moderate brain trauma, a broken pelvis and a broken humorous. He was in the hospital for a month and then in rehabilitation for a month and now we find out he has had an IEP done and Occupational therapy that he should be having as well as speech/language therapy he should be having. At first we thought maybe he was just neglected and no one ever worked with him on numbers and letters and getting dressed, until now we see N passing him up on all of the same things they are learning at school.
to be continued . . .
Monday, August 11, 2008
First Foster Placement
Where to begin! So much has happened since my last post on 6/27/08. As I had said we met with the foster care specialist on that night and 1 week later on 7/3/08 I received a call from her and she asked us if we were interested in fostering an infant and if we were we needed to pick him up from the hospital that evening. We had to remember that this was strictly foster for now and that the first goal would be to reunite with his mother, but of course there is always the chance that he may become adoptable. So we took a leap of faith and 2 hours later we were signing papers ready to take J home, however, there was a little snag and the dr. had not done his final physical so we were asked to come back and get him in the morning, but we did get to see him (we will call him J to protect his identity) and he was as cute as a button. So on July 4th, 2008 we recieved our first foster placement of a 17 day old caucasion, mostly healthy, newborn baby boy straight from the hospital. I say mostly healthy because we have to take him to a couple of specialist to make sure he doesn't have any long term problems with his kidneys or heart, but for the most part he his healthy and not on any kind of medications.
I can't believe we have had J for over a month now and he will be 2 months old tomorrow. He has gotten so big and we just love him to bits. He does have his parent visits 3 times a week and I am still working so my hubby watches him during the day and when he is working my mom watches him. We have no idea when or if he will go home, but we are just praying for J's best interest. We absolutely love having him and honestly I don't feel like it has been that big of a transition. We definitely have a huge support team and would not be able to do it without my MIL who was here from Arizona when we first received the placement to help us and my mom and dad who help us whenever we need them.
Just a side note I was told to contact WIC to get J's formula and the first available date they had for my area was in October!!! Can you believe that! So needless to say I made an appointment for a different office and I still had to wait, but only until August 18th. I shouldn't say only - it was still quite long. I just can't believe there are that many children and families on WIC. That was really eye opening.
We are hoping for more foster or adoptable children, but who knows what the Lord has in store for us. We would love to adopt J, because how perfect would that be to be able to adopt our first placement who was placed with us straight from the hospital never knowing any other home. We can only wait and see! Such is life, right!
I can't believe we have had J for over a month now and he will be 2 months old tomorrow. He has gotten so big and we just love him to bits. He does have his parent visits 3 times a week and I am still working so my hubby watches him during the day and when he is working my mom watches him. We have no idea when or if he will go home, but we are just praying for J's best interest. We absolutely love having him and honestly I don't feel like it has been that big of a transition. We definitely have a huge support team and would not be able to do it without my MIL who was here from Arizona when we first received the placement to help us and my mom and dad who help us whenever we need them.
Just a side note I was told to contact WIC to get J's formula and the first available date they had for my area was in October!!! Can you believe that! So needless to say I made an appointment for a different office and I still had to wait, but only until August 18th. I shouldn't say only - it was still quite long. I just can't believe there are that many children and families on WIC. That was really eye opening.
We are hoping for more foster or adoptable children, but who knows what the Lord has in store for us. We would love to adopt J, because how perfect would that be to be able to adopt our first placement who was placed with us straight from the hospital never knowing any other home. We can only wait and see! Such is life, right!
Friday, June 27, 2008
Meeting Foster Support Specialist
So last night we met with our Foster Support Specialist. I think that is a fancy name for "person we can gripe to." She was really nice and very talkative. My stomach thought she was a little too talkative because I had not had dinner and she met us at 5pm after work and didn't leave until 6:45pm. It was really good talking to her though because she not only works for the system she has adopted 2 children and one is from the system and they are beautiful!!!
Well time is short so I must go!
Well time is short so I must go!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Waiting!
We finally received our actual fostering license in the mail so now we are official! However, we have no kids yet so I don't know how official I really feel. K finally called me back. I asked her to confirm that she got the package back of the boys for J so she can keep looking for a home for the and also for K's e-mail address. I actually asked for it because there is this website www.adoptuskids.org that I wanted to register at and in order to register you need your case workers e-mail address. So I registered on the website and there are a couple of possibilities on that website, however, they are out of state possibilities, but if is a good fit we are willing to go anywhere.
We talked about maybe adopting from China and we said before we look into any other type of adoption we are going to give Foster/Adoption a year for us to find our permanent kids and if we don't have any luck we will consider China Adoption.
Well i'm starting to make lots of typos so that is my cue!
We talked about maybe adopting from China and we said before we look into any other type of adoption we are going to give Foster/Adoption a year for us to find our permanent kids and if we don't have any luck we will consider China Adoption.
Well i'm starting to make lots of typos so that is my cue!
Friday, June 13, 2008
First Attempted Placement
We have not received our actual license in the mail, but we got a letter in the mail stating that we were licensed and our license would be coming in the mail. We found out that the foster parents of the 3 year old were going to permanence with her so we are no longer candidates for that child. Then on June 2nd we received a phone call from our licensing worker and they said that they had 2 hispanic boys who needed a permanency placement ages 6 and 9. We had just told our caseworker that we really didn't want any kids over 7, but we would take a look at their profile because they had to find an urgent placement for these kids.
K our licensing worker came over on Monday, June 9th with J the kids caseworker and R the Adoption Agent and we saw the pictures and found out a lot of things that were a little disturbing, but nothing we didn't think we could handle. We had made a plan to meet the boys the next evening, which was my birthday. On my birthday I recieved a call from one of my good friends and I was telling her my exciting news about meeting the boys and then she proceeded to tell me about 2 friends of our that were pregnant. I don't know what happened, but when I got off the phone with her I just lost it and called my husband crying. I think the realization that this is our life and there are no biological kids really set in. Needless to say I don't think I was in any position to meet Foster kids after the day I had, but we went according to plan and I did meet them.
As they walked up the driveway I couldn't help, but notice that they didn't really look hispanic. Or what I thought of as hispanic and they looked much bigger then 6 and 9. Actually my nephew was visiting from Colorado at the time and I had hugged him and I thought to myself wow 9 really isn't that big and you can still cuddle with them and then I saw these boys. Let me just say I don't think I would be doing much cuddling with them. That may sound silly or ignorant on my part, but this is what I felt and thought at the time and in my mind I really thought I could take any kids, but when I saw these boys there were very sweet and very kind, but the little one was very stand offish and the older one was very likable, but I think I had made my decision as soon as I saw them. I hate to say it, but I thought it would be too hard for me to bond with these boys because of their size, their age, and the fact that they don't look like me. My DH said he would have been willing to take the boys, but he wanted us both to be on the same page and he understood if I didn't want to take these boys.
I prayned and thought really hard and long and a day later I called K and let her know that we had decided not to take the boys because of all the reasons I stated above. She was very kind and I couldn't help but feel even more guilty and ended up crying a bit to her and she said she could tell in my voice that this was not an easy decision for us, which it was not because I kept going back and forth about these boys after I found out my DH would have taken them.
My DH told me that evening he was a little sad because he was looking forward to having kids around the house. It's sooo weird all this time he could take or leave kids and now he has finally got the bug. The bug which I have had for the last 7 or so years. So we wait. This comes at an awful time too, because on top of all this drama we are having a huge birthday party on Saturday for DH and I as we always do since our birthdays are so close together and then Sunday is Father's Day. Another year which my poor DH is kidless. We make it a point not to feel sorry for ourselves though because we know the Lord has a plan for our lives and after I said no to these boys I did feel a huge relief because I felt like I was going to have to force myself to parent these boys and I don't know if that would have been a good choice. Plus with my in-laws in town it's probably for the best. Well that's all for now. I will just keep praying that the right child/children come along that we can help and see as a part of our family.
K our licensing worker came over on Monday, June 9th with J the kids caseworker and R the Adoption Agent and we saw the pictures and found out a lot of things that were a little disturbing, but nothing we didn't think we could handle. We had made a plan to meet the boys the next evening, which was my birthday. On my birthday I recieved a call from one of my good friends and I was telling her my exciting news about meeting the boys and then she proceeded to tell me about 2 friends of our that were pregnant. I don't know what happened, but when I got off the phone with her I just lost it and called my husband crying. I think the realization that this is our life and there are no biological kids really set in. Needless to say I don't think I was in any position to meet Foster kids after the day I had, but we went according to plan and I did meet them.
As they walked up the driveway I couldn't help, but notice that they didn't really look hispanic. Or what I thought of as hispanic and they looked much bigger then 6 and 9. Actually my nephew was visiting from Colorado at the time and I had hugged him and I thought to myself wow 9 really isn't that big and you can still cuddle with them and then I saw these boys. Let me just say I don't think I would be doing much cuddling with them. That may sound silly or ignorant on my part, but this is what I felt and thought at the time and in my mind I really thought I could take any kids, but when I saw these boys there were very sweet and very kind, but the little one was very stand offish and the older one was very likable, but I think I had made my decision as soon as I saw them. I hate to say it, but I thought it would be too hard for me to bond with these boys because of their size, their age, and the fact that they don't look like me. My DH said he would have been willing to take the boys, but he wanted us both to be on the same page and he understood if I didn't want to take these boys.
I prayned and thought really hard and long and a day later I called K and let her know that we had decided not to take the boys because of all the reasons I stated above. She was very kind and I couldn't help but feel even more guilty and ended up crying a bit to her and she said she could tell in my voice that this was not an easy decision for us, which it was not because I kept going back and forth about these boys after I found out my DH would have taken them.
My DH told me that evening he was a little sad because he was looking forward to having kids around the house. It's sooo weird all this time he could take or leave kids and now he has finally got the bug. The bug which I have had for the last 7 or so years. So we wait. This comes at an awful time too, because on top of all this drama we are having a huge birthday party on Saturday for DH and I as we always do since our birthdays are so close together and then Sunday is Father's Day. Another year which my poor DH is kidless. We make it a point not to feel sorry for ourselves though because we know the Lord has a plan for our lives and after I said no to these boys I did feel a huge relief because I felt like I was going to have to force myself to parent these boys and I don't know if that would have been a good choice. Plus with my in-laws in town it's probably for the best. Well that's all for now. I will just keep praying that the right child/children come along that we can help and see as a part of our family.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Almost Finished with Training!
So our very last PRIDE class is this Saturday, May 10, 2008. I can't believe how fast it has gone. Last week I got a call from our caseworker K and she said she has a couple of things in the process for us and we are one of the prospective parents for a 1/2 Hispanic 1/2 caucasion 3 year old little girl. She said as soon as we finish our class on Saturday to set a date so she can do our final walk thru and we will see what happens! Is that not exciting or what? She also said not to get our hopes up, but just the idea that it is a possibility that we will be parents by this summer gives me goose bumps!
I have been thinking a lot lately how our lives would change if we had a child in our care and I don't think we will miss it being just the 2 of us for very long. The only down side to getting a child right away would be that my in-laws will be staying with us for 5 weeks starting June 11th - July 17th so I'm not sure that it would be a great idea to have someone else in the house when we are trying to bond with our child, but I guess we will just have to make it work. The plus side to having them there is I would have more help and since my MIL is an early childhood and development teacher she can assess the child and help me figure out what the best methods of therapy or help he/she may need.
Our vacation is coming up next week so I'm hoping that it won't be a conflict with the whole foster/adoption because we will not be able to take a placement until May 27th. I'm assuming it will take a little time to process our paperwork anyway so we should be okay. Plus the Lord has a plan and it will all work out.
I have been thinking a lot lately how our lives would change if we had a child in our care and I don't think we will miss it being just the 2 of us for very long. The only down side to getting a child right away would be that my in-laws will be staying with us for 5 weeks starting June 11th - July 17th so I'm not sure that it would be a great idea to have someone else in the house when we are trying to bond with our child, but I guess we will just have to make it work. The plus side to having them there is I would have more help and since my MIL is an early childhood and development teacher she can assess the child and help me figure out what the best methods of therapy or help he/she may need.
Our vacation is coming up next week so I'm hoping that it won't be a conflict with the whole foster/adoption because we will not be able to take a placement until May 27th. I'm assuming it will take a little time to process our paperwork anyway so we should be okay. Plus the Lord has a plan and it will all work out.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
March Madness
Well, we have started our Pre-Training PRIDE Adoption classes and there are 12 people in our class. Out of the 12 people 4 of the couples have all been married 8 years. How weird is that. Our first class just went over everything we were going to cover and was very basic. DH thinks the classes were made for morans because it is all common sense stuff, but I assured him that it will get down to the nitty gritty soon enough and also that there are so many kinds of people taking these classes that DCFS has to go over the basics becuase not everyone is as smart as him! : 0-
Our second class covered teamwork/communication and how ironic is it that our one of our instructors was MIA and the other instructor had no idea where she was, nor did she have her phone # to call her and find out what was going on. Needless to say, not the example you want to set on the day you are going over TEAMWORK! We did find out at the end of the class that Instructor #2 had her plane cancelled so she could not get out of the state she was in. I do understand there are things that happen that are out of our control and no my expectations are not high for DCFS, I just thought it was kind of ironic! So as to how the class went it was great and interesting because she had us get into 3 groups without our spouses and we had to role play each group representing either the Foster Parent, Teacher, or Caseworker it actually made the class a little more interesting and kind of fun and challenging, becuase I do enjoy a challenge or I would not be in this position!
We had our caseworker K come over last night for another 2 hours and continue our homestudy. I think it really went well. My DH was pouring his soul out to her which I'm not so sure that is a good thing at times, but I do appreciate his honesty. I might not have said some of the things he said because of course I am a little reserved, but better to tell him exactly what he wont tolerate then to be put in a position where he can't handle it so I am chalking it up to the Lord will bring us exactly what we need in our lives at the right time.
We have our 3rd Session this Saturday and I find myself really looking forward to them. I remember thinking that these classes seemed so far away, but now that they are here I feel like they are going quite fast. K told us that our background checks are finished and our references are finished and those are the things that usually take the longest so once we finish our classes she will just have to do our assessment and we will be licensed (if we pass of course). I'm not really worried about that though.
I do find myself talking about this more and more and feeling really good about it. I can't help but talk about it because as everyone wants to make plans on Saturdays and we have to tell them what we are doing and it leads to great conversations to say the least. Also, just a side note K is very down to earth and we are really liking her. I think we will have a very good relationship with her.
Our second class covered teamwork/communication and how ironic is it that our one of our instructors was MIA and the other instructor had no idea where she was, nor did she have her phone # to call her and find out what was going on. Needless to say, not the example you want to set on the day you are going over TEAMWORK! We did find out at the end of the class that Instructor #2 had her plane cancelled so she could not get out of the state she was in. I do understand there are things that happen that are out of our control and no my expectations are not high for DCFS, I just thought it was kind of ironic! So as to how the class went it was great and interesting because she had us get into 3 groups without our spouses and we had to role play each group representing either the Foster Parent, Teacher, or Caseworker it actually made the class a little more interesting and kind of fun and challenging, becuase I do enjoy a challenge or I would not be in this position!
We had our caseworker K come over last night for another 2 hours and continue our homestudy. I think it really went well. My DH was pouring his soul out to her which I'm not so sure that is a good thing at times, but I do appreciate his honesty. I might not have said some of the things he said because of course I am a little reserved, but better to tell him exactly what he wont tolerate then to be put in a position where he can't handle it so I am chalking it up to the Lord will bring us exactly what we need in our lives at the right time.
We have our 3rd Session this Saturday and I find myself really looking forward to them. I remember thinking that these classes seemed so far away, but now that they are here I feel like they are going quite fast. K told us that our background checks are finished and our references are finished and those are the things that usually take the longest so once we finish our classes she will just have to do our assessment and we will be licensed (if we pass of course). I'm not really worried about that though.
I do find myself talking about this more and more and feeling really good about it. I can't help but talk about it because as everyone wants to make plans on Saturdays and we have to tell them what we are doing and it leads to great conversations to say the least. Also, just a side note K is very down to earth and we are really liking her. I think we will have a very good relationship with her.
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