Life has been extremely busy here on the homefront. Baby J woke up Tuesday morning and couldn't breath well so we took our first trip to the ER. Remember he has been sick with this chronic cough for 5 months, but the weekend and Monday and Tuesday he had gotten much worse, plus he had constant fever on Mon and Tues. Anywho he was admitted and after seeing the doctor and begging him to see an ENT, he told me he would run a few tests on him and sure enough he came back positive for RSV. 15 minutes later we got the call that he was negative for CF, which we are sooooo sooooo thankful. I asked the doctor back in November if it could be RSV and he said no because his appetite was good. We are not sure if he got the RSV recently when the cough and fever got worse or if he has had it this whole time. I guess that's neither here nor there, I'm just thankful for diagnosis, since it seems he has been tested for everything under the sun. We are still waiting for his allergy tests to come back, so he still may be allergic to something that may be why he's had the chronic cough for 5 months.

Baby J and I finally got to leave the hospital on Thursday afternoon and it was soo good to be out. I had a lot of work to do because we are transfering X6 and N4 to different schools so X6 can get services. We decided to take Baby J out of the daycare since that is probably where he picked up RSV and have my mom watch him for awhile. Starting Monday the boys will be at a daycare and school in our neighborhood, which means no more commuting with them in the car for a 30 minute drive to work. Yay I finally get my quiet time back in the car. It is much needed and I didn't even know how much I would miss it.

I debated whether or not to go to Bunko last night, but I felt like I really needed a break since I was couped up night and day in the hospital so I went. My DH is a saint for letting me go considering he was on the verge of sickness and X6 and N4 had just gotten home from a visit with their parents and they were bouncing off the walls from the sugar high they are always induced with when they are with their parents. Oh the joys of fostering.

The boys SW called yesterday and was telling me a little bit about N4 and X6's case and it seems one of the parents is doing everything in their power to get the boys back, but the other one not so much, so the SW said he doesn't really know if the parents will get the boys back in May. Which got me to thinking about adopting these boys if we ever had the chance. I have not really made myself think about it because the possibility of return home seemed really great. I honestly didn't want to think about adopting them either because each day that went by we got yet another bomb dropped on us about their mental and physical health. I don't want to seem like an oager or anything, but I did not sign up for special needs and I can tell you 100% for sure these kids ARE special needs. I honestly just don't think I am made for special needs kids. I know they always say God never gives you more than you can handle, but I just cannot make the connection with these boys. I try to parent them the best way I know how, but the love and admiration that I have for Baby J will just not kick in. I know it is not the kids faults for having the issues that they have, but their ADHD and constant lack of memory and behavioural issues are really chaffing my hide oh and bedwetting . . . I can't take it anymore. They both pee in their beds and drench everything almost every night. We have tried everything from no pull-ups to plastic pants, to bribing (I mean rewarding) and have finally just thrown in the towel. We have now resorted to having them sleep in sleeping bags on their plastic covered bunk beds with pull-ups on, so if they wet the bed we just have them take their sleeping bags and clothes down to the washer and walah! Clean bedding. No more waiting for their comforter to dry after 3 cycles in the dryer.